Hey folks. Listen. We have a weird one today. I’m not quite sure why “Moe gets a new girlfriend” is a type of episode, but we’ve had a couple of them, and we have another today. But there’s an added spice to this one that’s very strange. Because I can’t quite tell if this episode is sweet or exploitative. Let’s work it out.

The episode begins with Homer watching a minor league hockey game, and primarily just rooting for brutal fights. None of the hockey is that important, but it did make me notice that every single sports team in Springfield is the Isotopes, which I can’t decide is stupid or genius. Anyway, things actually happen when Maggie comes toddling over to Homer, and tries to play with him. And he promptly ignores her in favor of hockey.

And this makes Marge mad. She’s tired of how little Homer seems to care about Maggie, and is worried that Maggie barely knows him. Which is demonstrated by the fact that Maggie sees to think her father is Santa’s Little Helper. So, Marge tells Homer that he has to spend the whole day with Maggie. Homer bitches and moans for a bit, but then sticks Maggie in a stroller and hits the town with his daughter.

They go get donuts, wander around the tire fire, and of course end up at Moe’s. Moe doesn’t really seem to mind, since he’s busy cleaning the walls of the bar. And while Maggie goofs off on the pooltable Moe makes a startling discovery. One of his walls is actually a window, and it shows a daycare behind Moe’s. And Homer is thrilled. Because now he can park Maggie at the daycare while he drinks all day. Everybody wins!

So Homer and the barflies begins hanging out next to the window, gawking at Maggie and the other babies while getting drunk, and Moe starts to get frustrated. Mainly because no one is caring why he’s cleaning the bar. He finally gets their attention and he tells them that he’s cleaning the bar because he’s been hanging out in the library a lot lately, trolling around on internet dating sites, and has met a woman named Maya.

Moe and Maya really hit it off, and they even ended up sending each other photos of themselves. And Moe even sent in a real photo of himself, after briefly considering photoshopping it to the extreme. And when he sends the photo of himself he’s shocked to find that Maya thinks he’s cute. Plus, in her photo she’s a bombshell. And they’ve agreed to meet, here at the bar. So that’s why Moe is cleaning, and why he’s now kicking the barflies out. So Homer leaves, and grabs Maggie from the daycare, just in time to save her from being bullied by a bunch of random babies.

A little later Moe is awkwardly standing at the bar, terrified of his impending date, when Maya arrives. And there’s something about Maya that she didn’t tell him. She’s a little person. And, shockingly, Moe isn’t weird about it, and acts pretty decently to Maya. He doesn’t make a big deal about her size, and is ready to just have a normal date with her. And they end up having a great time. The two click and have a lovely date, and Moe actually thinks that there may be a future with this girl. Which makes him nervous, worried that Homer and the rest of his idiot friends will be insensitive toward his new girlfriend.

Oh hey, but this episode isn’t just going to be about Moe. Because Homer is still brining Maggie with him to the bar every time he goes to drink, and is still dropping her off at that daycare. And Maggie is still being harassed by these weird mean babies. She even has to deal with a little muscular baby who appears to be related to Kearney. But, Homer keeps saving her before anything bad can happen. Other than psychological scars. Those are staying. And Marge starts to notice, and become a little concerned. So she obviously buys a nanny-cam and decides to spy on what Homer is actually doing.

Meanwhile, Moe and Maya are still going out, and really seem to be falling for each other. Although, Moe still seems to be constantly afraid that he’s going to offend her, which makes everything a little on edge. There’s also the fact that Maya has noticed that she hasn’t met any of Moe’s friends. So Moe decides to be a little brave, and sets up a double date with him and Maya and the Simpsons, just hoping that Homer won’t be an ass.

So, Moe and Maya show up at the Simpson’s house, and make chit chat with Homer while Marge finishes getting ready. Well, she’s actually preparing to watch the nanny-cam video, but gets distracted right before the footage of Maggie getting attacked by the babies. So she still doesn’t know what’s going on, and gets ready for a lovely date at the carnival. And they have a great time. Marge even tells Moe what a catch he’s made.

Which seems to be the final sign Moe needed to do something extreme. He proposes to Maya. And she accepts immediately. However, as they’re sitting there fawning over each other, Maya drops a short joke, and Moe decides to join in. And he doesn’t stop. Moe sits there for far too long, just pumping out a bunch of short jokes that he’s clearly been holding bar. And Maya is not pleased. So much so that she asks him to leave.

So Moe is pretty worried, because things didn’t exactly end well that night. And, because he’s dumb, he asks Lenny and Carl for relationship advice. They’re of course full of terrible advice, and tell him to do what movies have taught them fix all relationships. Grand gestures. Which Moe decides obviously should go to go to Dr. Hibbert and ask him to remove his shins so that Moe will be a little person like Maya.

Oh, and before we finish this plot we need to finish that Maggie one. Marge finally sits down and watches the video, and sees the hordes of evil babies getting ready to beat up Maggie. She’s obviously horrified, but things change when Homer comes running into the frame to battle babies and save Maggie. Until the babies beat up Homer, and Maggie has to save him. But whatever, Marge is pleased that Homer would defend Maggie’s honor.

Dr. Hibbert obviously doesn’t agree to this procedure. But Dr. Nick sure does. Oh, and Dr. Nick is alive again, I guess. Anyway, Moe gets ready for the procedure, until Maya shows up at the last second. And she’s horrified. Moe says some sweet things, about how he wants to be with her, and live like her. But she responds by saying that if being short is all Moe thinks about her, then their relationship won’t work. So Maya leaves Moe, and he’s pretty crushed. That is until Homer tells him that everything will be okay, because being with Maya showed that someone could love Moe, which means someone could love him again. And that really works for Moe, who decides to move on as a stronger person.

I think more or less I like this episode. It’s strange, but it’s interesting. Like I said up top, the idea that we’ve had several episodes about Moe’s love life is a little strange, but they’ve oddly been pretty solid. And this episode ends on a very sweet and realistic note. Moe is often such a depressed sad-sack, and you would think that the loss of a potential spouse would be pretty damaging to him. But Homer actually gives some solid advice, and you legitimately feel for Moe at the end. What feels a little strange to me is Moe and Maya’s relationship. Because I’m not quite sure what was going on there. Moe seemed to be doing a great job in the relationship for a long time, but then after the proposal I guess we were supposed to think that they had basically never actually talked about the little person thing, causing Moe to blow up and say all sorts of tasteless jokes. But instead of communicating they basically break up, leading to the whole shin-removal thing. Moe then tells her all about what a beautiful person she is, and that it’s her soul that he loves. But then she says that all he can focus on is the height and leaves him. I don’t know, that feels strange to me. Like they didn’t want either Moe or Maya to come off as the villain, but also didn’t want to them to actually get married. This may just be me, but there’s something odd about that whole interaction in the hospital that kind of throws this episode off for me, but otherwise it was one that I enjoyed quite a bit.

Take Away: When in a relationship with someone you should maybe have an open dialogue about things, so that you don’t keep weird observations bottled up.